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September 7, 2009
– Adam Russell

All Barker, No Bite

Being non-American, I confess to not being familiar with Bob Barker’s work. The missus is a fan though, and apparently most in the
arena in Chicago were too, as he got a big standing ovation when he was introduced as this week’s guest host. He thanked the fans
for their welcome, and we kicked things right off with a pricing game, a al The Price Is Right. The contestants were Santino Marella, Jillian
Hall, IRS, and Chris Jericho. Santino was falling over himself in excitement at being involved, whereas Jericho wore an hysterical
sourpuss expression. The contestants were bidding on a Best of Smackdown DVD, and the comedy began, with Jillian singing, IRS
talking about taxes, and Santino generally being an idiot. Jericho then got in Barker’s face, demanding respect and explaining that he
is one half of the tag team champions. However, Barker cut him off when he heard the word ‘one’, taking that as Jericho’s bid.
It was good enough to win, and Jericho also earned a chance to win a trip to Hawaii, if he could defeat MVP in the opening match.

This opening segment was surprisingly decent. Barker was affable in his role, and Jericho was superb, cracking a self-satisfied smirk
as he headed to the ring for his match. It was a bit long, and most of the comedy missed the mark, but then, this is Raw. As long as it
doesn’t go on all night…

--- Chris Jericho Vs MVP

This rematch from last week began with both men struggling for the upper-hand on the mat, before MVP hit a clothesline, and then a drop
toe hold and a low dropkick. Jericho tried to come back by back body dropping MVP out of the ring, but MVP landed on the apron, and then
Jericho missed a springboard dropkick which sent him crashing to the floor as we went to commercial at 2’10. We returned 5’12
into the match, with MVP in a facelock. MVP fought out of the hold, but missed a running kick which sent him to the outside, and Jericho
followed after him, slammed his head into the security wall, and tossed him back into the ring. Jericho sent MVP into the corner and
connected with an elbow, with MVP sneaking a nearfall with a small package. Jericho got a two count of his own with a forearm smash,
and then went back to the facelock. MVP again fought out, and got on the comeback trail after dodging an enziguri kick. He connected with
a couple of clotheslines, and then a diving clothesline for a two count, but Jericho came right back with a bulldog. He went for the
Lionsault, landing on his feet when MVP moved, but then ran into a double thrust to the throat, and ate the facebuster. That meant it wall
Ballin’ time, but Jericho blocked the elbowdrop and turned MVP over into the Walls of Jericho. MVP fought in the move for several
moments before managing to counter into a small package for a close nearfall, and then he peeled off a big boot. He next tried to finish
Jericho off with the Playmaker, but Jericho blocked and went for the Codebreaker. MVP, however, held onto the top rope, blocking the
move, and then jacknifed Jericho for the victory at the 11’00 mark. This was perhaps a slight improvement from their match last week
(I particularly liked MVP blocking the Codebreaker, showing that he learned from their last match), but I can’t help thinking that MVP
has looked very sluggish as of late. Whatever the cause is, I hope he shakes it off soon, and gets back to where he once was- one of the
best in the company.

We got a lengthy recap of last week’s show next, before cutting to Barker in the back, telling us about the charity that the proceeds
from his book sales goes to. The DJ and T Foundation helps towards the cause of the spaying and neutering of dogs and cats.
Afterwards, D-X came in, and told Barker they were huge fans of his. Barker invited them to each take a spin of the wheel to decide who
their opponents for the night would be. Shawn spun first and picked Chris Masters, which allowed Triple H to get a few shots in at
Masters. Masters’ partner, as chosen by Triple H, turned out to be Randy Orton. Quel surprise.

Next it was time for the weekly humiliation of Chavo Guerrero. In this match he had the chance to win a car and, lo and behold, it was
actually a straight wrestling match against someone other than Hornswoggle.

--- Chavo Guerrero Vs Evan Bourne

Chavo was aggressive from the start, hitting a clothesline, a forearm uppercut, and then locking on an abdominal stretch. Bourne
countered into a pinning combination for a two count, then hit some kicks and a hurricanrana, followed by a clothesline, and a kick off the
second rope, the latter move earning him a two count. Chavo kicked Bourne and went for a tornado DDT, but Bourne blocked and hit a
jumping knee to Chavo’s face. He then climbed up the ropes to join Chavo, and went for a hurricanrana, but Chavo slipped out of the
way, causing Bourne to take a spectacular bump. Chavo went for the kill with the 3 Amigos, and then went up for the frogsplash, but that
was Hornswoggle’s cue to make his expected appearance. He came from under the ring with a super soaker, and squirted Chavo in
the face. For some reason, this blatant interference wasn’t a disqualification, and the distraction was enough for Bourne to roll Chavo
up for the three count at 4’19. This was obviously a marked improvement from the garbage of the last several weeks, but one has to
wonder when this Tom and Jerry act will come to an end.

--- John Cena Vs Cody Rhodes

Rhodes got on the mic before Cena made his entrance, and explained that he was still a member of Legacy, after Randy Orton RKOâ
€™d his dad last week. He said that Dusty didn’t make him a main eventer, but Orton did and, while Dusty was an excellent father,
he has chosen his career over family. He then said that he was going to make John Cena tap, as a favour to Orton, which has to be one
of the more outlandish, and unlikely, claims made by a wrestler. And that covers a lot of ground. The match began with Cody grabbing a
headlock on Cena, then Cena going for an early FU, and Cody going for a DDT, with both moves being blocked. Cody took a break on the
outside as we went to break, 43 seconds in, and when we returned Cena was delivering a suplex and picking up a two count. He hit a
bulldog for another two, and then a back body drop, which again sent Rhodes to the outside. Cena went out after him, but Cody hit a drop
toe hold which sent Cena into the announce table, and then sent him back into the ring where he began beating him down. Cena
responded with a side belly to belly suplex, but then ran into a boot and a clothesline. Cody then went to work on Cena’s leg, with
Cena trying to sneak in an STF to no avail. Cody hit a side Russian legsweep for a two count, and then a short clothesline for a one
count, and then went for the submission with a chinlock/hammerlock combination. Cena battled free, but was taken back down into a
fujiwara armbar. Cena worked up to his feet, with Rhodes on his back in FU position, but Cody wriggled free, only to miss a dropkick.
Cena’s comeback began in earnest with the flying shoulderblocks, and then a throwback. He went up to the top rope but missed his
flying legdrop, and Rhodes quickly looked for a figure-four leglock. Cena, however, blocked the move and locked on the STF, with Orton
coming out to cause the disqualification at 10’35. Cena drop toe’d Orton, but the WWE champion managed to escape the ring
before the STF could be applied. Cena then hit an FU on Cody. The match was okay, but the premise of Cody trying to make Cena tap out
couldn’t be taken seriously.

Next was a promo for a “potentially career-altering announcement� from Batista on next week’s show, and then it was time for
more Price is Raw. Replacing Jericho as contestant was AJ something, a baseball player from out of the crowd, who had quite a bit of
heat. They were bidding this time on a Wrestlemania 26 holiday package, and Santino won. He got the chance to wrestle The Big Show
in a bodyslam challenge with a hot tub at stake.

--- Bodyslam Challenge- Santino Marella Vs The Big Show

Santino went straight for a slam, but Show picked him up one-handed to get the win after 17 seconds. Bob Barker didn’t seem to
know what was going on at this point, but finally caught on that Show had won, and announced that Show now had another opponent,
Mark Henry.

--- Bodyslam Challenge- The Big Show Vs Mark Henry

This basically consisted of both men trying to slam the other over and over again, with a few kicks and punches thrown in in between.
Henry finally got it done after 3’19.

Next we cut to Josh Matthews interviewing Bob Barker in the back. He asked what the most unusual moment on The Price is Right was,
and whether Barker had ever been hurt on the show. The answers were, a girl’s breasts popping out, and yes.

Michael Cole and The King did the run-down for the Breaking Point pay-per-view, and then it was back to Barker in the back, this time
being interrupted by Chavo Guerrero as he thanked the fans. Chavo was annoyed about not winning the car earlier in the night, and
asked Barker if he thought he was tough because he trained with Chuck Norris. Barker said the biggest advantage in any fight is
surprise, and then punched Chavo in the gut and chopped him on the back. Poor Chavo.

D-X came out next for the main event, and performed their usual shtick, which included intimating that Rhodes and Dibiase are lovers.

--- Shawn Michaels and Triple H Vs Randy Orton and Chris Masters

Masters and Shawn got us started, with Shawn gaining the advantage with a kneelift, and then teasing a quick Sweet Chin Music, with
Masters ducking out of the ring. That took us to commercial, 44 seconds in, and we came back at 3’36 with Orton punching away at
Triple H in the corner. He sent him across the ring to the opposite corner, but Hunter came out with a clothesline and tagged in Michaels.
Michaels hit a double axe handle to Orton’s arm, and went to an armbar, slipped out of an Orton slam attempt and hit a neckbreaker.
Triple H tagged back in and went for a Pedigree, but Orton back body dropped him, and then went for an RKO, which Hunter blocked. The
Game executed a suplex, and then hit a kneedrop for a two count, before bringing Michaels back in. Shawn sent Randy into the corner,
but ran into a boot, and Masters tagged back in. He went for a slam, but Shawn slipped out. He tried to send Masters into the corner, but
Masters reversed it, and Shawn did his head over heels bump before eating a big backbreaker. He dropped an elbow to Shawn’s
back, hit a powerslam and tagged in Orton. Orton connected with a kneedrop for a two count, and then tagged back out. Masters sent
Shawn to the outside, where Orton landed a cheap shot, and then back in the ring, the champion tagged back in and hit a nice standing
dropkick on Michaels for a two. He locked on a facelock, which Shawn fought out of, and then Shawn hit the ropes and connected with a
flying forearm. Orton made the tag to Masters, and Michaels nipped up and tagged in The Game, who hit a high knee, a clothesline in the
corner, a facebuster and then a spine buster. Shawn tagged back in and hit a flying elbowdrop, as Hunter and Orton fought on the
outside. Shawn went for Sweet Chin Music, but Masters avoided it and applied the Masterlock. Triple H broke the move, allowing Shawn
to hit Sweet Chin Music, and then apply a figure-4 to Masters as Hunter applied a sharpshooter to Orton. Masters tapped out, bringing a
decent match to an end at 14’03. After the match, Legacy came out and pulled Orton out of the ring, with D-X and Legacy then
brawling into the back. Orton came back to the ring and said that he will beat Cena in the I Quit match at Breaking Point, which brought
Cena out. The two men brawled at ringside, and when they returned to the ring, Orton hit a quick hangman’s DDT, and then an RKO
onto a chair.

MVP of the night- Slim pickings this week. I’ll give it to Jericho for his performance in that opening skit.

Michael Cole ‘Vintage’ Moment of the Week- Vintage fans will have been salivating this week as there were two vintage moments.
John Cena’s throwback was the first, the second being Shawn Michaels’ nip-up.

Host-o-metre- Bob Barker was fine. The stuff involving him was campy, but well-performed, which makes all the difference. Once in a
while, this kind of stuff is fine.